Where Our Pieces Fall In Place
by jmd0820
Summary: Walt suffers brain trauma
1. Chapter 1

Ch. 1

There was a whooshing in his ears. It sounded almost like rain. That was his first thought. He was lying in bed and it was raining. He wanted to open his eyes but his body didn't want to cooperate with his brain. Finally, they opened slowly. The room was white and smelled funny. Walt Longmire's face scrunched up. He was definitely not in his cabin. His eyes were trying to adjust to the light. He tried to sit all the way up but that was useless. His eyes finally began to focus. His mind was foggy but he was pretty sure he was in a hospital room. His eyes flitted around the room searching. He felt a warm pressure on his arm. It was a hand. His gaze traveled up the arm and looked into the questioning eyes of Victoria Moretti.

He tried to form her name but his mouth felt so dry. He licked his lips but there was no moisture. A cup appeared with a straw.

"Here. Drink."

He pulled the water into his mouth and the cool wetness seemed a marvel. She pulled the water away and set it down.

"Not too much. You'll get sick."

His mind was starting to clear. He tried to sit up again but her hand pressed on his shoulder.

"Not until the doctor checks you out. Jesus, you scared the shit out of me, Walt."

"Sorry."

He mumbled the words even though he wasn't sure what he had done.

"What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

Walt shook his head. Her eyes clouded over and darkened with concern. She chewed on her lower lip thoughtfully, studying him.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

He sat in silence, scanning through his thoughts for that memory. It was foggy but it was there.

"I was riding my horse."

It came out almost like a question. Vic nodded and he figured he must be on the right track.

"Yeah, you went riding. You don't remember what happened after?"

Walt shook his head.

"No. It's all muddy."

He looked around the room. He was confused as to why she was here. Maybe if he'd been wounded in the line of duty. He had been at home. He was sure of it. Walt rubbed his face, willing his thoughts to make sense.

"Where's Cady?"

"She went home to get some rest and something to eat. Walt, you've been out of it for nearly two days."

He saw her now for the first time. She looked worn, tired. Dark circles were beginning to form under her eyes and her face was creased with worry. Her hair was pulled back but looked like she had slept that way, confusing him further. She was wearing jeans and a loose button down shirt. His eyes scanned the room again. Vic frowned.

"Looking for something?"

His eyes moved back to her. There was something in her expression he didn't recognize. He couldn't imagine her husband was very happy about her being her with him.

"Walt?"

"Where's Martha?"


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

Vic paced the room. Her nervous energy was contagious and making them all fidget.

"Ma'am, would you like to sit?"

It was wishful thinking on the doctor's part.

"No, I don't want to sit. I want to know what's wrong and how we handle it. Is it some kind of amnesia?"

Her voice rose with each word. The doctor shook his head.

"Not in the way you're thinking. Most of his memories seem to be intact but they're jumbled. There are some blanks, but for the most part it just seems like a puzzle that's been scattered. The brain is a very complex organ and there's a lot we don't understand. More than likely, his mind will reorganize itself on his own. You can all help with gentle reminders and corrections. Don't try to force anything. If he's not ready, he may resist. He's actually quite lucky he didn't suffer more damage with the severity of the head injury."

Vic massaged her temples with her fingers.

"Shit."

"Vic."

She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. Cady spoke to her in a low voice.

"Try not to get worked up. That's the last thing you need. Or dad."

"She is right, Vic. He will get through this. We will all make sure of that."

Henry had risen from his seat and joined Cady at her side. The doctor excused himself with a polite smile. The three of them stood there, unsure. Vic took several deep breaths swallowing the emotions that threaten to overwhelm her. Now wasn't the time. There was too much to consider, too many things to worry about. She squared her shoulders and took one final breath, trying to clear the doubts that were plaguing her.

"We have to tell him."

Walt sat in his bed staring at the three of them like they were aliens. He knew they weren't lying to him. These were three of the people he trusted the most in the world. He knew that if they were saying it, it was true. He mouth was slightly agape at what he was hearing. What he was being told did not correlate with what his mind told him was the truth. He ran a hand over his hair, trying to pull everything together.

"So she's gone?"

Cady nodded, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. She was trying to remain calm for him. Old wounds were bubbling to the surface.

"Yeah, dad. She is. She's been gone for a while now."

His head bobbed up and down slowly. His eyes were moist. His eyes shifted to his hands and then back up to his daughter.

"Could you all..could you give me some time?"

"Yeah sure."

The answer came from Cady. She squeezed his hand as they all shuffled out the door. Walt sat on the bed studying the gold band on his left hand. In the hall, Cady turned to Vic.

"Why don't you go home and get some rest. And eat. You've been here since they brought dad in."

Vic wanted to protest but exhaustion was creeping in on her. She relented and gave a slight nod. Henry pulled her into a hug, bringing his mouth close to her ear.

"We will take good care of him."

She nodded and pulled away.

"Call me if anything happens."

Henry and Cady nodded in reassurance. The ride home passed in a blur. She parked her work truck next to the Bronco in front of the cabin. Inside, she went into the bathroom to take a shower. A small smile played at her lips. It was the last room in the cabin that Walt had finished. His smile had been so big when he opened the door to show her the room that she had complained about the most. Standing under the hot water, she finally released her hold on the emotions she had been gripping with an iron fist. Tears ran down her face and her body shook. When she felt drained and cried out, she washed her face, turned off the water and left the shower. Drying off, she pulled on one of Walt's t-shirts. Her mind begged for sleep but her stomach reminded her she hadn't eaten since early in the morning. The fridge was in sad shape. She settled on a leftover salad he had insisted she eat, reminding her that her nutrition was important. The lettuce was browning slightly but she didn't really taste it anyway. Finishing it off, she stretched out on the bed, covering herself up to the waist.

She had hoped sleep would come quickly. As tired as she was, it should. She rested her hands on her stomach, her fingers splayed over the the swell of a bump that was expanding by the day. At five months, she was finally really starting to show as opposed to weight gain only she noticed. She could almost imagine Walt's hand covering hers. He had taken to falling asleep with his hand on her stomach, as though he could protect the baby even then. A single tear slid down her face. She wiped it away and rolled over on her side, willing sleep to overtake her.

 _4 Months Earlier_

 _Walt sat on the bed in silence. His blue eyes followed her every move. Vic paced the length of the bedroom, phone in hand. The timer on her phone counted down what seemed like an agonizingly slow three minutes._

 _"Vic, sit."_

 _He patted the bed next to him. She complied and sat for a second only to pop back up. She tapped her free hand against her leg, her eyes still on the phone screen. Walt stood and moved into the path of her pacing. She stopped abruptly in front of him. Walt placed his hand on her shoulders._

 _"Hey, it's gonna be okay."_

 _She wanted to believe that but the past year had drained her ability to attempt optimism. She forced a nod and leaned her head into his chest. Walt's arms slid around her and he rested his chin on her head. A ding sounded from her phone and she pulled back._

 _"That's it."_

 _She looked at bathroom and then to Walt. He offered a small smile._

 _"Want me to look?"_

 _She hesitated and then nodded._

 _"Yeah."_

 _The voice came out low and raspy. Her nerves felt raw. He disappeared into the bathroom and reemerged carrying the test in his hand, his eyes wide._

 _"Its positive."_

 _A dozen different emotions ran through her in about 5 seconds._

 _"Holy shit! Are you serious?"_

 _He held it up for her to see. A smile erupted across her face. Walt tossed the test onto the dresser and pulled her to him._


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3

Walt stood in the center of the room looking around the cabin. It was all familiar yet all foreign. Vic came in behind him closing the door.

"Guess it's good to be home, huh?"

"Yeah."

She heard the hesitance in his voice. She placed a hand on his back and steered him towards the couch.

"Why don't you sit? Dr. Weston was pretty adamant about you taking it easy."

Walt sat down on the couch and ran his hands over his thighs. He kept expecting Martha to come through the door. It felt odd to be here without her. An awkward silence filled the cabin. Vic cleared her throat.

"Hungry?"

"Nope."

"Okay. It's kind of late, do you just want to go to bed?"

He looked towards the bedroom door and then back to her.

"That's not a bad idea. I think I'll sleep out here on the couch, though."

Vic swallowed and nodded trying to stay upbeat. The doctor had warned about stress. Weston had wanted to keep him another day but Walt had badgered the man into releasing him.

"Okay. If you need anything..."

"I'll be fine, Vic."

His words had come out sharper than he intended and he saw the hurt that flashed through her eyes.

"I'm sorry. It's just...hard. I'm still trying to process all of this. I found out my wife is dead..."

His voice faded when he realized what he was saying to her. Walt bowed his head.

"I'm sorry, Vic."

She sat next to him on the couch.

"Stop apologizing. I get it."

She briefly touched his hand and then stood. Hesitating for only a second, she went into the bedroom and closed the door.

 _6 Months Earlier_

 _Walt rested his forehead on her shoulder. His arms were planted on either side of her head supporting himself. Her hands lightly moved over his back, causing him to shiver slightly. She had that effect on him. Always. From their first time together, she stirred things in him that had been dormant for so long. He had never been with anyone who gave themselves with such abandon. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. They were both sticky with sweat and he could hear her still rapid breathing in his ear. He finally summoned enough energy to roll off of her and onto his side facing her. She turned her head towards him and smiled. Walt loved that smile. He felt like it was his own personal smile that she didn't show to anyone else. He traced her lips with his thumb._

 _"I love you."_

 _His voice was low and shaky. Her smiled widened and he felt himself become overwhelmed by the feelings she created inside of him._

 _"I know you've been afraid, Vic, that this would go bad. I need you to know how much I love you. That's not going to change."_

 _She sat up and leaned towards him pressing a kiss to his lips. She pulled back slightly so that they were barely touching and murmured against his lips._

 _"I love you, too."_

 _Laying her head back down, she shifted onto her side and propped her head on her bent arm._

 _"Marry me."_

 _The words were out before he realized he was saying them. Her eyes grew wide and the smile faded from her face._

 _"What?"_

 _Walt sat up._

 _"I didn't mean to...damn! I want to marry you, Vic. But only if you're ready."_

 _She stared at him, making him squirm._

 _"You don't have to ans..."_

 _"Okay."_

 _"Okay?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Yes?"_

 _"Is there an echo in here or what? Okay and yes, I'll marry you. On one condition."_

 _His brow furrowed._

 _"What?"_

 _"It's just you and me. No fuss, nothing big."_

 _He smiled then in a way Walt Longmire rarely smiled. Big and full. He leaned across the small space between them and kissed her._

The buzzing of Vic's phone woke her. She recognized the number that was lighting across the screen.

"Hey, Cady."

"Hey. How's dad?"

"Bout the same."

"Have you told him?"

There was a pause before she answered.

"No. I'm working up to it."

"Do you need anything?"

"No, thanks."

She heard Cady sigh on the other end.

"I'm not sure which of you two is worse."

Cady laughed lightly.

"Call me if you need me."

"Yep."

Vic laid the phone back on the nightstand and sat up. It was morning. The cabin was quiet so she assumed Walt was still sleeping. Getting up, she started to pull the t-shirt she wore to bed over her head. The door opened and she stopped in motion and turned. Walt was in the doorway and he also stopped and stared at her. She let her hands fall away and the shirt dropped back into place. Walt continued to stand and she could tell by the look on his face he knew what he had seen.

"Vic?"

She moved towards him. He took a step back and she paused.

"You're pregnant."

It wasn't a question but she answered.

"Yes."

"When were you gonna tell me?"

"I was trying to figure out how, Walt."

She took another step towards him but he held up his hands in an almost defensive gesture. Walt closed his eyes as pictures flashed through his mind like a movie reel with no sound. His eyes snapped open and settled on her.

"It's a girl."

Her eyes widened.

"You remember."

"It just came to me."

She moved closer to him and took his hand. Gently, she placed it over her stomach. Walt looked down at her hand holding his in place.

"How far?"

"Five months."

He pulled his hand back and took a step away from her. Before she could say anything, he was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch. 4

Vic entered the Red Pony and took a seat at the bar. She saw Henry pouring drinks. It was unusual to see him here these days with his job running the casino. He still liked to maintain his relationship with his original customers and tried to work the bar at least once a week. He smiled.

"Water?"

"Please."

He set a water bottle in front of her and noted her expression.

"How are things?"

She took a swallow.

"Been better."

"Walt is still struggling?"

"Yep."

Henry frowned.

"Would you like for me to talk to him?"

Vic shrugged.

"I don't know what good it'll do. Cady has talked to him, I've talked to him. It's like he's stuck, Henry. He's treating me like we're coworkers and he doesn't want to talk about the baby. I mean, I'm trying to be patient. I know it's not his fault. But it's so damn hard sometimes."

Henry's look turned sympathetic.

"I will speak to him."

Walt was sitting on the porch when Henry pulled up. He lifted his hand in greeting.

"Henry."

"Hello, Walt. How are you feeling?"

"Better."

Henry took a seat next to him.

"Really?"

"Health wise, yeah."

Henry looked at his friend. Walt gave him a questioning look.

"Something on your mind?"

"Yes. I saw Vic at the Red Pony earlier."

Walt sighed and shifted in his seat, averting his eyes.

"She's not happy with me."

"Do you understand why?"

"Yeah. I'm trying Henry. I just can't place my feelings for her."

"Allow me to help you with that. You are deeply in love with her. You are expecting a child with her. A little girl."

"Yep."

"Walt, do you remember Vic getting shot last year."

Walt nodded

"We've talked about it some."

"You told me she lost a child then and she was very upset about it. Do you understand how scared she has been this time?"

"Henry..."

"Do not Henry me, Walt. I know you are confused and you are thinking of Martha. Martha is dead, Walt. She is not coming back. You had made peace with that. You have a whole new life and a new family now that you need to try and focus on. She is trying to be patient with you. Patience is not exactly Vic's strongest quality. Everyone has a breaking point, Walt."

"I'm trying."

Henry stood up.

"Try harder. Try sharing a bed with your wife."

"She told you that?"

Henry smiled.

"Actually it was Cady. Listen to what I am saying, Walt. Try."

He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, smiled, and then left. Walt sat on the porch watching the sun make it's way down to the horizon. Shadows were stretching across the ground when Vic's truck pulled up. She slowed her pace when she saw him on the porch. His eyes followed her until she was standing in front of him.

"Hey."

Her voice was soft, unsure.

 _11 Months Earlier_

 _The office was quiet. Everyone had gone home except the two of them. Walt sat at his desk staring at reports he wasn't really reading. He could hear Vic typing away on her laptop, pausing on occasion. He wouldn't admit to anyone, but concentrating was hard when she was near. It was especially hard when they were alone. Since their relationship had crossed into intimacy, she was on his mind all the time. He stood up and stretched the tired muscles in his back. He left his office, pausing at her desk. She glanced up at him with a quirked eyebrow._

 _"What's up?"_

 _"I think it's time to call it a night."_

 _She leaned back in her chair._

 _"Do you?"_

 _Walt leaned on her desk._

 _"Yep."_

 _Her eyes met his and a smile crossed her face. It was the feral one that reminded him of an animal stalking prey. It was also the one that made his heart thump hard against his ribs._

 _"Well, my boss told me he wanted these reports first thing in the morning so..."_

 _He could hear the teasing tone in her voice._

 _"Tell you what, I'll talk to your boss. I think he's been working you too hard."_

 _"I think so, too."_

 _Walt extended his hand. She took it and allowed him to tug her to her feet and into him. She nuzzled his neck. His hands wandered down over her hips._

 _"Come home with me tonight, Vic."_

 _He murmured it to the top of her head and felt a slight nod._

 _Later they lay tangled up in bed, sheets haphazardly pulled around them. Her head rested on his chest and his hand wound through her hair, softly playing with the long strands. The feeling of contentment brought him a peace he had not known in a long time. He hoped it was the same for her. He knew peace was something she needed badly and something she craved. He inhaled, breathing in the scent that was her. He wondered if it were possible to get addicted to the smell of another person._

 _"You seem more thoughtful than usual tonight."_

 _Her soft voice broke the silence._

 _"Just thinking."_

 _"About?"_

 _He smiled to himself. Since he had hired her, she had the uncanny ability to extract information from him in a way no one else could._

 _"Do you remember when you came to find me and tell me about the bank robbery?"_

 _"When you were burying your money? Yeah."_

 _"I said this land and my home were all I had and you told me that wasn't true."_

 _"Mmm-hmm."_

 _"You were right. I have so much more. I have a beautiful daughter, a great best friend, a job I'm good at. I have you. But, I can't shake the feeling that there's more."_

 _Vic shifted her head so she was able to see his face._

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"I've been Sheriff for so many years. When Martha was alive, we used to talk about what we'd do after I retired. After she was gone, there didn't seem to be anything to look forward to. Lucian told me that he should have left before he did. He stayed too long. I don't want to make that mistake."_

 _"Are you thinking of quitting?"_

 _She sat up now, brushing her hair back from her face._

 _"Retiring. I feel like I've done what I set out to do."_

 _She studied him for a long moment._

 _"You're serious."_

 _"Yep."_

 _He sat up and leaned on the headboard._

 _"I didn't plan to run last time. I didn't think Branch was right for the job at the time, so I ran against him. I think now the time may be right. This all seems like a new beginning. Malachi is gone. Nighthorse was exposed. Henry is running the casino so that's not the problem it was. I want...I want to live again, Vic. I want a fresh start and a peaceful life. With me retired, it makes things easier for us."_

 _"You're not just doing this because of what I said, are you? About you dying."_

 _He shook his head._

 _"No, not just because of that. But, it would give you more peace of mind. Wouldn't it?"_

 _"Well, yeah, but this has to be what you want, Walt."_

 _"It is, Vic, it is."_

"Walt?"

He snapped back to the present.

"Yeah?"

"You okay? You zoned out."

"Just thinking."

She sat next to him, leaving space between them.

"About."

"I think I should sleep in our bed tonight."

Walt slid under the covers. He took care to stay on his side. Vic eyed him.

"Are you sure about this, Walt?"

"No, but I...I need to do this."

He laid his head on the pillow and looked up at the ceiling. An awkward silence filled the space between them. Walt shifted and his leg brushed hers. He tensed at the contact but didn't break it. Slowly he rolled onto his side so that he was facing her. Henry's words echoed in his head. He saw the doubt and hope that coexisted in her dark eyes. He felt a physical pull to her. Slowly he leaned over and kissed her lightly. Her right hand came up to his cheek. His mind was firing thoughts in all directions. Walt pushed the thoughts down and deepened the kiss. Vic's left hand softly brushed his side. The touch was so light, he thought he'd imagined it. Then he felt it again, lower this time, on his hip. Her fingers brushed just under the waist of his pants. It jolted him like electricity and he jerked back from her. Guilt coursed through him at the hurt look on her face.

"I'm sorry, Vic, I shouldn't have...I just...I want..."

He ran his hand over his face unable to find the right words. He tossed back the blankets and rose, pacing.

"I know that I loved you. My brain keeps telling me that you're married to someone else and that I am, too. I feel like I'm cheating on my wife."

Her jaw flexed under the skin and tensed. He could see she was struggling to keep herself in check.

"I am your wife."

Her voice was low, pleading almost. Her eyes were beginning to look wet. She swallowed and then again. Walt stood, there, unable to verbalize any more. His silence finally broke her. She stood and started to move in a frenzy. She grabbed her backpack from where it had been propped up in the corner and started stuffing clothes into it. Zipping it, she tossed it on the bed and went into the bathroom. She emerged minutes later dressed. Sitting on the bed, she pulled on her boots quickly. She grabbed her phone off the bedside table and stuffed it into the back pocket of her jeans.

"I have my phone if you need me."

"Vic, where are you going?"

"Walt, I'm trying here. I am, but I can only take so much of this shit. I think we both need a break."

"You're pregnant...you.."

She lifted her backpack to her shoulder and shook her head. Her expression was unreadable to him. She wouldn't fully meet his eyes.

"I just... I can't do this right now."

He was still standing in the same spot when he heard her truck pull out and fade out down the road.


	5. Chapter 5

Ch. 5

Walt sat in the cabin alone. He had not been able to sleep after Vic left. The expression on her face haunted him. Her words bounced around inside his mind echoing to him over and over.

"I am you wife."

He had not meant to hurt her. He could only hope that she knew that. He looked around the empty space. The sun had not fully risen and he had left all the lights off. The darkness suited his current mood. He checked the phone he had left in the bedroom. The phone she had given him. There were no calls. There were no texts. He sat back down on the couch and laid his head back against the cushioned back. He was starting to get a headache. He just wanted to sleep and forget.

 _It had been four days since they had been together for the first time. Things at the office had finally begun to settle down. Things were slowly creeping back towards normal. Although, it was more of a new normal. A normal in which he had an intimate relationship with one of his deputies. The doubts had tried to creep in. Walt was proud of himself for fighting them so effectively. In the past, he would have let them overtake him. He would have given in. The past few days, however, he felt like a new man. He had finally broken the shackles that had kept him lonely and wanting. In the days immediately after she'd been shot, Walt found all he wanted to do was be near her. Sitting in the hospital and nearly losing her had a profound effect on him. He knew that he had taken her loyalty for granted. He had hurt her in the past. He swore he wouldn't do that again._

 _Now he stood next to his Bronco outside her dark RV wondering where she was. She had left work on time for a change. Her head had popped into his office and she'd simply said she was leaving and given him a quick wave. It made his stomach drop a little. He had hoped she would stay late again. He had hoped he could convince her to come home with him. When he had left work, he had every intention of going home. He didn't even remember thinking to drive here._ _The approaching headlights of her truck snapped him out of his thoughts. She parked and stepped out, her eyes on him. She pulled a paper grocery bag from her passenger seat and closed the door._

 _"Walt, is something wrong?"_

 _He shook his head._

 _"No, I just...thought maybe we could have dinner or something."_

 _She raised an eyebrow at "or something."_

 _"KInda late to go out."_

 _"I picked up something earlier. If you already have plans..."_

 _His voice faded. He hadn't really thought this through. His only thought had been that he wanted to see her. Outside of work. Desperately. She nodded her head towards the RV._

 _"Come in."_

 _He collected a few things from the Bronco and followed her into her RV. He set his things on the counter and removed his hat. He watched as she put away the few grocery items she had in her bag. Finally, she leaned on the counter and turned to him._

 _"What's up?"_

 _He felt nervous for some stupid reason._

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _She folded her arms across her chest._

 _"Aren't you the one who said we should be discreet?"_

 _He nodded, his mouth was dry._

 _"Sitting outside my place in the dark isn't very discreet. Everyone knows your Bronco."_

 _"I would've invited you to my place but you left before I could."_

 _"Had some errands. Once in a while, I need to get off on time."_

 _He rather enjoyed the late nights they spent together at work. He fidgeted._

 _"I just...I wanted to see you."_

 _She smiled a little._

 _"You saw me all day at work."_

 _Walt sighed. She was forever challenging him._

 _"You know what I mean."_

 _Her smiled widened a little._

 _"I do, actually. I just never figured you for a booty call kind of guy."_

 _He frowned._

 _"That's not..."_

 _Her silent laughter caused him to stop. Naturally, she was messing with him._

 _"What did you bring to eat?"_

 _"Soup and sandwiches."_

 _"Fancy."_

 _They set about pulling out the items. The soup was still warm. Walt crammed himself into the small table and they ate in a companionable silence. When they were done, he helped her clean up and toss out the trash. She looked towards the fridge._

 _"Beer?"_

 _"Depends, am I driving home?"_

 _She tilted her head to the side._

 _"So this is a booty call."_

 _Walt crossed the small kitchen to stand in front of her._

 _"No, this is I missed being alone with you and wanted to see you."_

 _"So you didn't come here for sex?"_

 _Walt was growing frustrated._

 _"Is that what this is for you? Sex?"_

 _Her expression softened._

 _"Of course not, Walt."_

 _"Then why does it feel like you're avoiding me today?"_

 _He felt her hand on his arm. The warmth spread through him like a wildfire on a windy day._

 _"I'm not avoiding you. I just needed a little time to myself."_

 _"So you want me to go."_

 _She shook her head._

 _"No."_

 _He could see the doubt that had taken up residence in her eyes as of late._

 _"Vic, I know that you have doubts about this. About us."_

 _He extended a hand and softly touched her face._

 _"I need you to know this is real for me. I love you, Vic. You may not be ready for it but it's how I feel."_

 _Her hand moved up and covered his. Their fingers intertwined. She closed her eyes and then opened them. Fresh moisture gave away her emotions._

 _"I do love you, Walt. No matter what else you believe, believe that."_

 _"But."_

 _"But you've had this great love before and I'm afraid. I'm afraid that one day you'll realize nothing can live up to that and this will all be a disappointment for you. I don't think I could handle that."_

 _Walt took her hand and led her to the couch. Sitting next to her, he held her hand in his lap._

 _"It's not about this living up to that. It's all separate, Vic. The love I have for you is different because you're different. That doesn't make it better or worse. It's not a competition. I figure I'm lucky as hell to have this chance again. To love someone. I know that you want to take it slow. That's fine. But let's make sure we're moving forward together. I don't..I don't ever want you to compare yourself to anyone else. I fell in love with you because you're you. Not because you reminded me of anyone or because I was trying to recreate something. I've never known anyone like you, Vic. I'm not the same person I was when I was married. You're not either. These experiences, they change us. What we have is ours. It's doesn't need to be compared to anything and it doesn't need to live up to anything. All it needs to be is what we want it to be."_

 _A tear freed itself from her eye. He wiped it way gently. Leaning towards her, he kissed her softly. Her arms slid around his neck and pulled him deeper into her._

 _Walt looked around the RV from where lay on her bed._

 _"I don't know how you live in this thing."_

 _"I'm not as big as you."_

 _He checked his watch and sighed._

 _"I should probably go. It's probably best if my vehicle's not parked here in the morning."_

 _Vic propped her head up on her and watched him toss back the covers, rise, and start pulling on his clothes._

 _"I'm curious, Walt. How long do you plan to keep this quiet?"_

 _He paused at the buttons on his shirt and shrugged._

 _"Haven't really thought much about it. I was enjoying not having to deal with people. Until we're more comfortable with it?"_

 _"Until you're sure?"_

 _He frowned at her comment and sat on the bed._

 _"I am sure, Vic. I'm not sure you are, though."_

 _She nodded, acknowledging the truth in his words. She did have a lot of doubts about their situation. He leaned down and kissed her softly._

 _"Just remember what I said earlier."_

Walt startled awake. Sitting up he rubbed his hands over his face. The sun was up now, lighting the interior of the cabin. It was still empty and he was still alone. He checked his phone again. Still , he showered and changed into clean clothes. He wandered around the cabin. Originally, this had been for himself and Martha. Martha. He smiled a little to himself. This had originally been where they planned to live out their days. That was gone now. He knew she was gone. He remembered all the appointments and the bad news and the tears and the long talks. His mind was telling him he had to let her go.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch. 6

"Hey, dad, you're looking better."

He hugged her as he entered her living room.

"Hey, punk."

"What's up?"

He looked around nervously.

"Is Vic here?"

The smile dropped from Cady's face.

"No, she's not."

"Do you know where she is?"

"I do."

"Can you tell me?"

Cady shook her head.

"No, sorry. I promised her I wouldn't."

He sighed and sank into a chair.

"Dad, she just needs time. I think you both do. Maybe being apart for a bit will help you both clear your heads. She's not mad at you, dad. I can tell you that."

He ran his hands through his hair.

"I've hurt her, Cady. Badly."

"It's not your fault. I think she understands that. She's just under a lot of stress and needed a break."

"It's not really anyone's fault. Where does that leave us?"

Cady placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. She didn't have the answer any more than he did.

He was sitting in the Bronco when his phone rang. He lifted the phone and a smile crossed his face as if by instinct.

 _10 Months Earlier_

 _Walt sat his bag on the porch and turned to her. She was standing there looking as beautiful as he'd ever seen her. There was a strong breeze blowing her hair. She pushed it back out of her face and smiled at him._

 _"Got everything?"_

 _"Yep. Think so."_

 _He looked out at the Bronco and his horse trailer._

 _"I'll probably be gone a couple of weeks at most."_

 _She nodded._

 _"I'll be here."_

 _He knew those words had deeper meaning. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a phone. She extended her hand to him._

 _"Here. I got you this."_

 _"A cell phone?"_

 _"Yes, a cell phone. I know you like the dark ages and all but you've got to join this century sometime."_

 _She paused._

 _"In case you need something."_

 _He took the phone and studied it._

 _"Need me to show you how it works?"_

 _There was laughter in her voice._

 _"I think I can figure it out."_

 _He shoved the phone in his pocket. Leaning down, he kissed her. Her hands moved up to his hair, holding him in place briefly before releasing him._

 _"Be careful."_

 _"Yes, ma'am."_

"Vic?"

"Yeah, Walt, it's me."

"I've been looking for you."

"I told you to call me if you needed something. Are you alright?"

"I'm more worried about you."

"I'm fine. I called to let you know I have an OB appointment tomorrow if you wanna go."

He was quiet for a moment, considering the possibilities.

"You don't have to, Walt."

He could hear sadness and disappointment intermingled with her voice.

"I want to."

"Okay, it's at 2:30. I can pick you up if you want."

"Sounds good."

"K, I'll see you then."

The line disconnected and he was met with silence. She had only wanted to tell him that. It was such an odd feeling for him. He couldn't quite place his feelings for her but her absence was creating a hole in is world that he didn't know how to repair.

He was waiting on the porch when she pulled up in her truck. Walt slid into the passenger seat and offered her a tentative smile.

"Hey."

"Hey. Ready?"

"Yep."

The ride was quiet. Walt glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. She looked a little more rested than when he had last seen her. He could still see the stress etched into her face. Guilt crept up his gut. Shouldn't this be the happiest time of their lives?

"How've you been?"

Vic glanced at him then back at the road.

"Okay. You?"

"Okay, I guess."

A momentary silence descended before she broke it.

"I'm glad you came."

He nodded and shifted his head to look out the window.

"How are you feeling, Vic?"

Vic sat on the table in the exam room. Walt had retreated to the corner.

"Okay."

"No issues. Eating well, sleeping well, keeping your stress down?"

Vic glanced at him.

"Trying to."

"You're still working?"

She nodded.

"Light duty. Only office work."

The doctor smiled.

"That's good. Let's check that heartbeat."

Walt watched the doctor go through the process. At first he heard nothing. Then he heard it. The unmistakable pattering of a little heartbeat. Vic glanced his way again and offered him a smile. He smiled in return. The doctor put her equipment away and Vic wiped her stomach and rolled her shirt down.

"Sounds good and strong."

 _He was on the couch, his feet propped on the coffee table. Vic was reclined against him. His arms hung loosely around her. She was quiet tonight. Uncharacteristically quiet._

 _"Something on your mind?"_

 _She jumped slightly in his arms, as though she forgotten he was there._

 _"Thinking."_

 _"About?"_

 _She remained quiet._

 _"Vic?"_

 _She sat up and turned to face him._

 _"Having a baby."_

 _Walt tried to keep his expression neutral._

 _"You want to have a baby?"_

 _She nodded. Her eyes were uncertain, unsure._

 _"With you. I've been thinking about it for a while now."_

 _"Why didn't you say anything."_

 _She shrugged._

 _"Were you afraid I'd say no?"_

 _"It's a lot to ask. I know that."_

 _He considered her for a moment._

 _"It is. For anyone."_

 _"Would you think about it?"_

 _"It's important to you."_

 _"Yeah. I...didn't realize I wanted it until it was gone. You know."_

 _"Yep."_

 _He remained quiet for a bit before speaking again._

 _"I love you, Vic. If you want a baby, then...we'll try to have a baby."_

 _Her expression was shocked._

 _"Really?"_

 _He smiled._

 _"I kind of thought this might come up. I know how much you hurt. Honestly, I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about having a family with you."_

 _The smile that rewarded him was like the sun rising._

"Want to get an early dinner?"

He hadn't been planning the invitation. Things between them seemed less awkward after the appointment. It made him feel better than he had in days. Vic glanced across the cab of the truck at him. He noted her hesitation.

"Um...sure."

She steered into the parking lot of the Red Pony. They took a table and placed their orders. Vic ran her fingers over the condensation on her water glass absently.

"Vic, I'm sorry about all this."

"I know."

"Where are you staying? Cady wouldn't tell me."

"I asked her not to. I needed to think about some things."

"Such as?"

Vic shifted in her chair.

"I just needed to clear my head."

"You still haven't told me where you were."

She sighed.

"Here. Henry's old room here. He's got a place closer to the casino now. He let me use his old one here."

"Are you going to keep staying here?"

"I don't know, Walt. I've kinda been taking it one day at a time."

"You could come back to the cabin."

She rested her elbows on the table and studied him with an expression that made him want to squirm. He felt almost as if she could see right through him.

"Is that really want you want? Or are you saying that because you think it's what I want to hear?"

Their food arrived before he could answer and they set about eating in silence. A few bites in, Walt set his burger down and extended his hand across the table. He gestured for her left hand. She hesitated and then placed her hand in his. He ran his thumb over her ring.

"I know I'm not there yet, but I'm closer than I have been."

Her eyes flicked up to his. She could see the truth emanating from them, reeling her in like they always had. Her jaw twitched as her resolve to maintain a distance began to crumble.

"Come home. Please."


	7. Chapter 7

Ch. 7

 _Walt lay in bed reading a book. It was one he'd read before but he enjoyed rereading old classics. It wasn't unusual for him to notice something he hadn't before. Vic came in from the bathroom, her hair still damp from her shower. Heat and the vanilla scent of her shampoo lingered around her like an aura he could only feel and smell. She was wearing one of his t-shirts that hung just to her thighs. His eyes followed her as she slid into the bed next to him. She stretched out on her back and looked up at him._

 _"If I stay here another night, I'm going to have to run home and pick up some stuff."_

 _Walt glanced at her. Marking his place, he set the book on his nightstand. He looked at her for a long moment considering her words._

 _"Why don't you just stay?"_

 _"I can but I gotta run by the RV first."_

 _Walt shook his head._

 _"I mean stay, as in for good."_

 _Her eyes narrowed slightly as she digested his words and their meaning. She pushed herself up to a seated position._

 _"You're suggesting that I move in here."_

 _Walt shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. She had eased into the idea of them but he was still afraid to push her too hard for fear of spooking her._

 _"You're here pretty much all the time anyway. And, everyone knows now so there's nothing to hide."_

 _He paused and tried to gauge her expression. To his relief, she looked more curious than anything._

 _"What about the RV?"_

 _"Bring it here. Sell it. Whatever you want."_

 _She chewed her lower lip thoughtfully._

 _"You're not tired of me."_

 _He smiled._

 _"I'm not tired of you. Not yet anyway."_

 _Vic slapped at his arm playfully._

 _"Asshole. Sean used to say I was difficult to live with."_

 _Walt chuckled._

 _"There's a reason he's your ex-husband, Vic. Martha said the same thing about me from time to time. We can be difficult together."_

 _"You don't think it's too soon?"_

 _"Do you?"_

 _"It's really annoying when you answer a question with a question."_

 _"I think that whatever pace we decide is appropriate is fine. How do you feel?"_

 _She rolled her eyes at his tone._

 _"I just figured you for the kind of guy who liked to do things in order. Marriage before living together and all."_

 _"I was when I was younger."_

 _He paused._

 _"Martha and I waited until marriage before we were intimate."_

 _Vic's eyes widened. He almost expected some smart comment. Instead she smiled at him._

 _"That's kind of sweet, Walt. What changed?"_

 _He considered her question._

 _"I have for one. I've realized you can't live your life based on other people's expectations. Then, that's what was expected. We followed the rules. Now, I don't want to waste time worrying about social convention. I want to live my life the way that makes me happy. You make me happy."_

 _A broad smile crossed her face._

 _"You're so hot when you say stuff like that."_

 _He laughed._

He met her on the porch before she reached the front door. She was carrying the same backpack she had left with. She paused in front of him, looking much like a rabbit that might take off at any second. He broke the silent standoff.

"You came."

"Yeah. I came."

"Are you here to stay?"

"I guess we'll see."

She went into the cabin and put her things away. Walt sat out on the porch trying to give her some space. She came back out and leaned on the railing.

"You haven't been using the bed."

He shook his head.

"Didn't feel right."

"Because of me?"

"Because of me."

He rose and stood next to her.

"Why did you come back?"

"You mean besides the fact that you asked me to?"

He nodded.

"Walt, it took us so long to figure shit out. We wasted a ton of time when we could have been happy. We've worked too hard for this. I'll be damned if I'm going to give up on it that easily. Especially when there's a kid involved."

She ran her hand over her stomach thoughtfully.

"The first time I was pregnant, I was scared shitless. There wasn't a father. I was picturing myself trying to do it all alone. This time, it never crossed my mind that we wouldn't both be there together doing this. Not until I was sitting at Henry's wondering if I wanted to walk away. I've walked away from so many things in my life. My old job, Philly, my marriage. I don't want to walk away from this. We've fought too hard to get here."

She reached out and took his hand. Gently she placed it over her ever growing stomach.

"Regardless of what is happening here with us, we made this beautiful little person together. We owe her, Walt. We owe her a real family with two parents who love each other and who are happy together."

He swallowed the surge of emotion that threatened to overtake him. Without thinking, he reached out and pulled her to him. Her hands landed on his back and her head rested momentarily on his chest. For a brief moment, his body felt right and like this was how it should be. He released her and looked down at his feet.

"I'm glad you came back."

She smiled. It warmed something inside of him and he felt like a spark had lit within him.


	8. Chapter 8

Ch. 8

"Wow, this is impressive."

He smiled, really smiled at her. He was obviously pleased with himself. Vic surveyed the dinner he had laid out on the table when she came in from work.

"You don't mind if I change first?"

Walt shook his head.

"No, I'll fix us some plates."

Walt felt oddly like he was on a first date. He couldn't help but grin when she came back from the bedroom. She wore the pregnancy well. Whatever he was feeling, that much was obvious. She smiled nervously.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You're making me paranoid grinning like that."

"It's just...you look really good is all."

She looked down at her casual clothes.

"Okay."

"I mean in general. For a pregnant woman."

He was stammering now and realized she was staring at him. Walt shook his head growing frustrated. Vic touched his arm softly.

"Hey, Walt, calm down."

Her voice calmed his nerves. It was a subconscious reaction to the soothing tone she used.

"Sorry. It just feels like..."

"A first date? Yeah, it kinda does. We never really had an official first date though."

He slid her a plate laden with steak and baked potato.

"Well, this can be it then."

She took a bite and offered him a smile.

"Wow, Walt, that's really good."

He returned her smile.

"I'm glad you like it."

x

 _"You're full of surprises lately."_

 _Walt gave her a confused look. She gestured towards the table._

 _"I had no idea you could cook."_

 _He shrugged, embarrassed._

 _"It's nothing fancy but I can do the basics."_

 _Her smile was enough to light up his entire world. She had been so sullen and depressed lately. Anytime these days when she looked remotely happy, it was made his day. He couldn't place the point at which his own happiness became so intermingled with hers. This brief time her RV had been parked outside his house had been a respite for them both. She was recovering from her gunshot wound and he was trying to muddle through his trial. Sometimes it felt like they were the only two people who understood what each of them were going through. He'd been a little shocked that she had been agreeable to his moving her home. Since then, her had tried to maintain his focus on taking care of her. It helped him forget his own troubles._

 _After the meal, she had helped him cleanup. He had protested but it had only earned him an eye roll. She stood in his kitchen drying her hands._

 _"Thanks for dinner. I should probably head back over."_

 _He cocked his head._

 _"Why?"_

 _"I don't want to mess up your evening or anything."_

 _He looked around the quiet cabin._

 _"What are you messing up exactly? Me sitting alone?"_

 _She shrugged._

 _"I just don't want to get on your nerves."_

 _"I don't think that's possible."_

 _He noticed she blushed slightly and gestured towards the couch._

 _"Want a beer?"_

 _She hesitated and then nodded her head._

 _"Sure."_

 _He retrieved two cans from the fridge and handed her one. She took a long swallow and he felt a little jealous of the can. Walt chastised himself internally. The last thing she needed was him complicating her already emotionally wrought frame of mind with his feelings. He had already acknowledged to himself that the feelings he had been pretending weren't there were, indeed, there. He realized he was staring at her and that she had noticed. She was giving him a questioning look._

 _"What?"_

 _Her voice was unusually soft. He broke his eyes away from hers before he did something stupid and shook his head._

 _"It's nothing. Just thinking."_

 _"About?"_

 _Walt turned the can around in his hands, staring at it._

 _"Everything's kind of a mess right now. I'm glad you're here."_

 _He worked up the courage to look up and she was watching him with a soft look in her eyes. In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her. He took a swallow of beer instead._

 _"Walt, can I ask you something...personal?"_

 _His brain screamed no. He recognized that they were piloting dangerous waters. He concentrated on the can._

 _"Sure."_

 _"What happened between you and Donna?"_

 _It was not what he'd been expecting. He sighed and lifted his gaze to meet hers. Her eyes were fixed on him intently, peeling his layers back like an onion._

 _"Nothing much, to be honest. A mutual parting of the ways. I think we both realized things weren't what we wanted them to be and that wasn't going to change."_

 _Her eyes remained fixed on his and he couldn't look away. Vic finally did breaking the trance. Her eyes flicked downward to her own can. She stood suddenly._

 _"I really should go to bed. I'm keeping you up."_

 _He wanted to protest. He wanted her to stay. He didn't because he knew what dangers lay down that path._

 _x_

When they had finished dinner, they cleaned and washed the dishes together. It did not escape him that he didn't feel the need to fill the silence with meaningless chatter. He felt comfortable with her and she didn't seem to notice the lack of conversation. When they were done, he sat next to her on the couch and again marveled at how good she looked.

"You're staring again."

He shifted his eyes away.

"Sorry."

She smiled at him wryly.

"Don't apologize. Some days I feel like a damn whale. A little appreciation goes a long way."

He looked down at his hands.

"You're beautiful."

He summoned the courage to look up and saw that her eyes were glistening with fresh tears that had not fallen. He smiled shyly. Slowly, he leaned forward. Several emotions ran across her face. He recognized fear and desire before he closed his eyes and pressed his lips lightly up against hers. After a brief hesitation, she responded. His hand came up to cup her cheek. Walt pulled back and rested his forehead against hers.

"Not too bad for a first date."

Her shoulders shook with laughter as she leaned away from him and took a breath.

"No, Walt, not too bad at all."


	9. Chapter 9

Ch. 9

Walt came out of the bathroom, toweling his hair. He paused in the doorway to watch her sleep. The spot next to her had been vacant since his accident. He still wasn't sure he was ready to take that step. Last time, the results had been her leaving. At first, he thought being alone with his thoughts might be a good thing. Her absence had caused an ache he couldn't explain in the pit of his stomach and he had been relieved when she had accepted his suggestion that she come back. Now, he knew why. Day by day, his feelings were reinstating themselves. He still felt a bit of uneasiness but he craved her company like an addict. She shifted in her sleep and he watched as she sat up and looked around.

"Something wrong?"

He shook his head.

"Just getting a shower. I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep."

She sniffled and wiped a hand over her eyes.

"What time is it?"

"Eleven or so."

He walked over and sat down on the side of the bed.

"Do you need anything?"

She shook her head.

"No, I'm fine. Why are you taking a shower so late?"

"Just trying to clear my head. Lots of things going on."

He sighed and moved to stand. Her hand reached out and closed over his wrist, almost as if it were a reflex. He paused. She was looking up at him with her almost golden eyes glittering in the dark room.

"Why don't you just sleep here?"

Walt swallowed. She had been careful to not push the issue. He suspected she was apprehensive like he was that it might go south and ruin the progress they had made. He was sure this invitation now was brought about by sleepiness with some hormones thrown in. He gently eased his arm from her grip and stood.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Vic."

Her eyes dimmed and she let out a heavy sigh.

"Okay."

Her voice was barely audible now. He left the room and closed the door softly behind him. Sinking to the couch, he rested his head in his hands. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her with the familiarity he was hopeful to feel. He was terrified that he would react badly again. He was terrified that if she left him again, she wouldn't come back. He felt frozen by his fear and he hated that feeling.

x

 _It was hard to keep his eyes on the screen when they kept drifting to her. She had seemed like a kid at Christmas on the way to the ultrasound. Her previous pregnancy had not made it this far. This was 'the' ultrasound where they would be able to find out the sex. Walt had suggested not finding out. Being surprised. Vic had given him a look that could drop an elephant._

 _"I hate surprises."_

 _That was all she had said and he hadn't brought it up again. He didn't want to diminish her excitement. The tech went through the process of checking the baby's anatomy and making sure everything was good before turning to them._

 _"Do we want to know the sex?"_

 _Vic nodded eagerly. He couldn't remember ever seeing her like this._

 _"Yes."_

 _The tech made some markings on the screen and grinned at them._

 _"It's a girl."_

 _Walt's mind whirled. A baby girl. His eyes shifted to Vic who appeared mesmerized. He realized she was holding his hand and he gave hers a gentle squeeze. In the Bronco, she kept looking at the small ultrasound picture. She finally looked up and at him, her eyes slightly nervous._

 _"You aren't disappointed are you?"_

 _He frowned._

 _"Why would I be disappointed?"_

 _"I thought you might want a boy."_

 _He glanced at her before turning his eyes back to the road._

 _"Vic, all I wanted was a healthy baby. The sex doesn't matter. Anything I could have done with a son, I can do with a daughter. She'll be the most well rounded kid in Durant."_

 _She smiled at him, relief washing over her face._

x

She was quiet the next morning. He had hoped she wouldn't remember but she seemed to be avoiding him. He was sure she did remember. She quietly got her coffee and sat down at the table with two pieces of toast, which she picked at more than ate. Walt sat across from her, turning his own coffee cup in his hands to occupy himself. Her silence was getting to him.

"Why are you up so early. Thought you were off?"

Her eyes flickered up to his and then back down to her phone.

"I am but I think I'll go in and get some things done."

His suspicions were right. She was avoiding him.

"Are you planning to be there all day?"

She shrugged. Walt sighed.

"I was hoping to take you to lunch..."

She stood abruptly, cutting him off. Dumping the remnants of her breakfast in the trash, she set her plate and mug in the sink. Walt trailed behind her.

"Vic."

She kept her back to him. He placed a hand on her shoulder and she finally turned.

"Vic, I don't want to mess up the progress we've made."

"What progress, Walt? One or two good meals. One kiss. It's been weeks. I am trying. I have tried. To be patient and supportive."

She paused and took a breath.

"It felt like progress and then it feels like we hit a reset button and nothing has really changed. I know that you need me to have patience and that you need me to be understanding. I have needs too, Walt. I need someone to support me. To understand me. I need...I need..."

Her voice broke and tears stung her eyes. Frustrated, she wiped them with her hands. Her head dropped and her loose hair shielded her face like a golden curtain. She took a ragged breath, trying to rein in her emotions. Walt stood, waiting for a barrage that never came. When she finally lifted her head again, her eyes were red and the color had dulled. The voice she spoke in was low and pained.

"I need you."

With that, she left the kitchen and walked into the bedroom. The door closed with a thud that shook him to his core.

x

Walt pushed through the swinging doors of the Red Pony and saw Henry sitting at a table. His friend smiled at him as he sat across from him.

"Hey, Henry."

"Walt, how are you?"

Walt sighed.

"Been better."

Henry's face darkened.

"Are you still having issues with Vic?"

"It's more she's having issues with me."

"What did you do?"

Walt leaned back in his chair.

"What makes you think it's my fault?"

Henry smirked.

"I know you very well, Walt. Are you still struggling with your feelings for her?"

He shook his head.

"It's not so much that. We...uh...we still aren't sleeping together."

Henry raised his eyebrows.

"Who has made that decision?"

"Me."

"Do you not want to be with her in that way?"

"I think I do, Henry, it's just...last time it went so bad."

"That was weeks ago, was it not?"

"Yes."

"Have you made progress."

"Yeah but..."

Henry held up his hand.

"Walt, I am not an expert on women. But, in my experience, they appreciate feeling that they are needed and wanted. Vic is pregnant and this has been a heavy burden on her. I understand that you are afraid. It is that same fear that kept you from her to start with. You can not give in to the fear, Walt. It will end badly."


	10. Chapter 10

Ch. 10

 _The Bronco moved down at the road at an unhurried pace. The sun was getting low, casting an array of colors over the land. There wasn't another car in sight as far as Walt could see. He glanced across the seat at his newest deputy. Her gaze was directed out her window. Her sunglasses shielded her eyes from the glare of the sun and from him. She had been unusually quiet today. If there was anything he had learned about her over the past two months, it was that she almost always had something to say about any given situation._ _As the day had worn on, she had become more and more pensive. They had been on the road a lot. The silence offered no refuge from ones inner thoughts. He knew that better than anyone._

 _"Everything all right?"_

 _The sound of his voice broke the silence they had existed in for the past half hour. He saw her startle slightly but her face remained fixed away from him._

 _"Yeah."_

 _It was the least convincing 'yeah' he'd ever heard. He waited. He excelled at waiting. After a long moment, she finally turned her face towards him. The low sun cast an odd glow over her hair and face, giving her an other worldly glow. Walt cleared his throat and pushed those thoughts from his mind. He frequently found himself admiring her and he knew he couldn't afford to indulge in such thoughts. That was a dangerous path to even consider._

 _"How did your wife feel about your job?"_

 _Walt felt a slight lurch in his stomach. She was the only one who asked him questions like these. There was nothing but curiosity in her tone and a touch of melancholy._

 _"Uh...what do you mean?"_

 _She removed her sunglasses and hung them over the collar of her shirt, as she often did. Now her eyes were fixated on him. The glasses had provided a barrier between him and those eyes. Now he felt almost like he was in the sights of a weapon. Her eyes drew him in, without fail. Always._

 _"You were married for a long time, right?"_

 _"Yep."_

 _He tried to stay focused on the road._

 _"Did she hate your job?"_

 _His brow furrowed. He hadn't given that much thought in a long time._

 _"I wouldn't say she hated it. There were a lot of aspects she didn't care for. The danger, for one. Also the hours and time away from home."_

 _"Did she make it known?"_

 _"Once in a while. I suspect she mostly suffered in silence. If it interfered, she would say something."_

 _Vic let out a heavy sigh._

 _"My husband hates my job."_

 _Walt nodded. Now it all made sense. She spoke sparingly about her husband. He knew the relationship tended to be rocky. He also knew her husband was gone a lot and he could usually tell when the man was home. If affected her mood greatly at times._

 _"I'm sure he doesn't hate it, Vic."_

 _Her eyes were sharp, reflecting anger._

 _"Oh, he hates it. All he does when he's home is bitch about it. Everything about it. The hours, the pay. You know, I was a cop in Philly when we met. He knew what he was getting into so I don't get why he thinks he has the right to complain. It's not like I surprised him with all this shit."_

 _She paused and Walt remained silent._

 _"I think he was hoping when we moved, I would stay home or something. Maybe get a different job. I was stuck at home the first month we lived here and I was bored out of my skull. I can't just sit around and do nothing."_

 _A small smile played on his lips. He couldn't imagine her sitting at home being a housewife. It seemed so out of character for her. He mused at how well he felt like he knew her._

 _"What?"_

 _He glanced at her._

 _"What?"_

 _She rolled her eyes._

 _"You got that smart ass looking smile on your face."_

 _"You know, most people don't called their bosses smart asses."_

 _He was treated to another eye roll and a fake smile._

 _"Just calling it like I see it. Walt, I know you're not one of these backwards assholes who thinks women are only good for cooking, cleaning, and making babies so don't defend him."_

 _"I wasn't going to, Vic. In my experience, marriage works best when either party does what makes them happy and the other supports them. Even if they don't necessarily agree."_

 _She gave him a small smile and then looked back out the window. He barely heard her next words._

 _"Maybe I should marry you, then."_

x

Vic stood on the porch of the cabin. It was funny how easily she had started to think of this place as home. She had started out spending the night here and there and it has evolved to her rarely staying anywhere else. She had hated the silence and emptiness of Wyoming when she had first moved here with Sean. She had been raised in an entirely different environment and the vastness of this place was overwhelming. She had come to realize it wasn't as quiet as she thought. The sounds were just of a different nature. It did lack the buzz of traffic, the cacophony of the big city. But when she listened, really listened, she heard the sounds here. The singing of birds, the general hum of nature, a friendly hello from one neighbor to another. The pace here was unhurried. The views here were unbeatable. The air here was so much fresher to inhale.

Now, a handful of years, a couple of addresses, one marriage over, and one marriage begun she couldn't imagine not being here in this place. Sure it needed better radio stations and a good pizza place but those things were superficial. She couldn't imagine her child not growing up in this cabin on this swath of land with this view and these sounds. She wanted her daughter to grow and develop with same sense of freedom and peace she had found here.

In her mind, she knew that he was afraid. Personal fear had always been one of his biggest handicaps. Since she had known him, it had been something that would freeze him, cause him to shut down. She had, since the beginning, pushed him to overcome those fears. It was not in her nature to accept the status quo. It was a wonder he hadn't fired her early on with some of the comments she had made and some of the pushing she had done. It had more than impressed her when he would rise to the occasion and prove her wrong or show her that he could function in ways she had not seen.

In her heart, she felt conflicted. She had been attracted to him from the start. At first she had pushed it out of her mind. She was married and she wouldn't cheat on her husband. This tall, scruffy cowboy wasn't her type anyway. She had chalked it up to newness until it wasn't new anymore. Until she realized she had found someone who viewed her as a smart, capable equal and treated her as such. He challenged her in the best possible way. Eventually she had realized it wasn't just a passing infatuation. She knew she and Sean were headed down a bad road even before they left Philly. She could admit now she had married him more for stability and security. She loved him but not the way she should. When she had become pregnant with this child, she had finally realized she was going to have everything. The pieces had been like a puzzle finally forming a coherent image. They were a family.

She ran her hands over her stomach. Every decision that she made was going to affect this child. It was no longer just her. That was the complicated part of family. Your life, your decisions affected other people. She had never loved a man like she loved him. No one had ever made her feel as wanted and worthy as he did. She was wondering now if that man was still there and if these pieces could be gathered back up. _  
_


	11. Chapter 11

Ch. 11

 _He walked up the sidewalk to the small house. He glanced around. It was a decent neighborhood. Lots of young families. He rapped on the door, one hand in his pocket. The door swung open and she peered out at him._

 _"Yes?"_

 _"Victoria Moretti?"_

 _"Yeah."_

 _He pulled the crumpled application from his coat pocket and held it up._

 _"Do you want the job."_

 _She opened the screen door and stepped out onto the porch. He hadn't paid her much attention when she had come in to apply for the job he had posted. He'd put her early to mid thirties. He was drawn to her eyes. He tried not to notice how her jeans fit in all the right places. He tried not to notice how the tank top she wore revealed her toned arms and how she was in much better shape than anyone else in his department. Her bare feet made her seem small but her attitude seemed to make up for it. Her blond hair was pulled back out of her face in a braid. She folded her arms across her chest and set her jaw stubbornly._

 _"No."_

 _His mouth turned up slightly._

 _"How about my job?"_

 _An amused look crossed her face._

 _"Maybe."_

 _"Well, it's not an election year so you'll have to wait. So how about this one in the meantime."_

 _He held up the papers again._

 _"You don't give up do you?"_

 _"Not usually. I'm in pretty bad need of a deputy. The pay is bad and the hours are worse but I could really use someone with your experience."_

 _She ran her eyes over him, no doubt taking in his appearance. He knew it was less than impressive at the moment. This was the most effort he'd put into anything work related all week. Her gaze was making him uncomfortable._

 _"You really need to work on your sales pitch. That one sucks."_

 _"If you'll take the job, I won't have to worry about it."_

 _She smiled for the first time. It reminded him of a wild animal circling prey and preparing to pounce._

 _"Okay."_

 _"Okay?"_

 _"I don't have to wear one of those hats do I?"_

 _He shook his head_

 _"Nope."_

 _He had known it from the start._

x

He knew it now.  
 _  
_Walt watched her from inside the cabin. She was sitting on the bench at the far end of the porch looking out at the landscape that surrounded them. She commented all the time on how amazing the view was right from the porch. He knew she liked to sit there when she wanted to think. He watched how her hands rested on her stomach. Days had passed since his talk with Henry. Quiet days. He was still plagued by guilt over hurting her. They still weren't sharing a bed. She said nothing more about it but he caught her gaze once in a while when she thought he wasn't looking. It was wistful with an edge of pain to it. Despite his good intentions, he continued to cause her pain.

The sun would start to go down soon. He took a breath and walked out the front door. She heard the door and glanced at him as he stood there. She turned her eyes back to the wide sweep of land that surrounded the cabin. He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"What're you doin'?"

He was trying to sound casual. He knew it wasn't working.

"Thinking."

"You do that before you talk, right?"

She smiled then. It was the first genuine smile he had seen in days. Then the smile faded.

"Yeah, learned that from someone I knew once."

He ambled across the porch and sat next to her.

"Good advice. Must have been a smart someone."

She faced him again.

"Sometimes. Sometimes he's a pain in the ass."

Walt laughed to himself. He slowly took his hand and placed it on her abdomen. Vic looked down at his hand and then at his face. He rarely initiated touches anymore. She was obviously surprised by his contact.

"Have you noticed it's here on this porch where we seem to have our important talks. It's like everything falls into place here."

"Things don't just fall into place, Walt."

Her voice sounded sad to him. Resigned.

"Sometimes they do. I thought about when I hired you. When I came to your house with that damn application and practically begged you to come work for me."

The memory made her smile again.

"That wasn't your best moment."

"No, it wasn't. I seem to have a lot of not so good moments. It was the last piece, Vic."

"What do you mean?"

"I knew then. I wouldn't admit it but I felt it when I saw you. I knew that you would be something important in my life. I knew the memory but I wasn't feeling it."

She frowned.

"I don't understand."

"You were always such a force of nature, Vic. You were then and ever since. I knew it the first time we talked. I may not have recognized it but I knew it was there. I cussed myself later because I thought I shouldn't be attracted to you. It was a pull I tried my best to pretend wasn't there but it was. I think, now, that we were inevitable. We've been on this path since that moment and nothing could stop it."

"Waxing philosophical today, aren't we."

His hand still rested on her stomach. It sent a warmth through her she hadn't felt in a while.

"I was thinking, too. You know, before I talked. I didn't want to mess this up. Not again. But I realized that I only needed to say one thing. How could I mess that up?"

He paused then and looked at her stomach before shifting his eyes back to hers. Those same eyes that had always drawn him in. They held him securely, even when storms were raging around him. They gave him a comfort and a confidence.

"I love you."

Her eyes were glistening now. The tears hadn't fallen yet but he could see them.

"It felt so odd when I woke up. I knew you but I didn't feel you. I thought Martha was still living and that was what I felt. I never meant to hurt you. You're the one I feel now. Here."

He touched his heart with his free hand. She covered his hand with hers and squeezed it.

"It was like what I was the most scared of was coming true and that you didn't love me enough."

"I'm sorry, Vic. You are enough. You've always been enough. More than I deserve actually."

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against hers. She responded hesitantly at first. He tried to communicate all his feelings through that contact. He wanted to reassure her. He wanted her to know she was the one that had his heart. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers. His words were so low she could barely hear them.

"Let's go to bed."


	12. Chapter 12

Ch. 12

 _It had been surreal. Of all the times he had thought about being with her, nothing in his imagination came close to the real thing. She was as much a contradiction in his bed as she had always been in his life. She was demanding, yet accepting. She was firm, yet she was soft. She was tender, yet she was raw. It shouldn't have come as a surprise. What she appeared on the surface had never been one hundred percent of her. For all her bravado and Philly attitude, she could be unsure and self conscious. For all of her language and short tempered personality, she could be surprisingly sympathetic. It was one of the things that had always struck him the most when they were alone. She wouldn't hesitate to call him out or call him a name. At the same time, she would place a soft hand on his shoulder when she thought he needed encouragement or comfort._

 _She had consumed every part of him that night. She had physically exhausted him in the best way. She had also taken what was left of his heart, pieced it back together, and branded it as hers forever. It had been ages since he had felt so connected to anyone. Her eyes held his through all the passion and sex that had ensued. She had been as open as he had ever seen, allowing him to see every part of her both physical and emotional. She had laid herself bare and raw before him and it made his heart swell even more than it had when he had kissed her in the Bronco earlier in the day._

 _Afterwards, they had laid in a sweaty tangle of bodies and sheets. He didn't allow himself to think of any complications. He didn't think of how she was still so vulnerable from her recent trauma. He didn't think of how she still worked for him and he was still her boss. He didn't think of how he had crossed a line he had sworn to himself that he would never cross. All he thought about was how right she felt next to him. How good it had felt to finally let go and have what he really wanted. She made him think of all the tomorrows laid out before him in a way he hadn't done in years._

 _She lay with her head on his shoulder, her fingers lightly tracing patterns over the sensitive skin of his stomach, carefully avoiding his latest injury at the hands of Malachi. He had noticed she had her own bruises beginning to show on her side and hip where she had smacked the ground after knocking him out of the way of the SUV._

 _"You really should have let me taken you to have this checked."_

 _Her fingers lingered near the gash. He slid his hand over hers and pulled it to his lips, pressing her fingers to his lips. A smile blossomed on her face. It wasn't the sarcastic smile she was so fond of using with him or the feral one with the sharp eyes he was accustomed to seeing while her thoughts churned. It was a sweet, happy smile. It reminded him of that night in Arizona when she had helped him unlock his room and he had joked about chivalry. Her smiles had become so rare since her final showdown with Chance Gilbert. Neither of them had much to smile about lately. To see her content and happy made his throat constrict with emotion. To know he was the reason for it made his insides twist._

 _"It's fine."_

 _It was all he could manage. There were so many things he wanted to say to her. So much he wanted to tell her that he had held back for such a long time. In that moment, though, all he could do was hold her. Words seemed inadequate and unnecessary and she was the last thing he felt and the last scent that filled his mind before he had drifted off to sleep._

x

Walt lay in the dark listening to her breathe. Outside it was a moonless night and he could just barely make out the outline of her. He had no idea if she was asleep or awake. Her breathing was soft and steady and she was still. He had decided she must have drifted off when her voice broke through the dark stillness of the bedroom.

"What are you thinking about?"

She moved then and he could see she had brought her face close to his so she could see him. She lay on her side, one arm under her head facing him. He rolled to face her in a similar position. He felt compelled to touch her and his hand found her face, running his fingers lightly over her cheek.

"The day we took out Malachi."

A smile crossed her face.

"That wound up being a pretty good night after such a shitty day."

'Yep. I was just thinking about how far we had come at that point. We've come even further now. I'm sorry, Vic, for everything."

"It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry if I made you feel like it was."

"You didn't. I know you were trying to be patient with me. I don't blame you for leaving."

He felt the softness of her hand moving up his cheek and into his hair. Her fingers spread over the back of his head and pulled him in. Walt's hand moved to her stomach as he leaned in and deepened the kiss. A sudden jump under his hand caused him to pull his lips from hers.

"Did you feel that?"

His voice dripped with awe. He felt the bump against his hand again and his face erupted in a smile.

"I think she approves."

"Smart girl."

"Like her mother."

Vic laughed into his ear as she leaned into him again pressing her lips to his.

4 Months Later

Walt stood cradling his infant daughter. She was easily the most the beautiful thing in his world. She seemed tiny in his large, rough hands. The first time she had been passed to him, he had hesitated. It been a long time since he had held a baby and old fears crept back into his mind. He remembered being the same way with Cady when she was born. Vic had smiled tiredly at him and gave him an eye roll.

"You're not going to break her, Walt."

"She's just so small. Smaller than I remember."

He had held her carefully against his chest. Her gray eyes had focused on him and then closed sleepily. He knew, in that moment, that he would do anything for her. It amazed him that someone so small could evoke such strong feelings.

Now he was amazed at how fast she was was still small but was rapidly changing. Every day he noticed something new or different about her. She was more alert now and constantly watched what happened around her with interest. Vic mentioned often that must have come from him. When Cady was young, Martha had taken on most of the duties herself. He was busy working on his career and the world was a different place in general. Now that he was retired, he took more joy than he could have known in doting on his daughter. While Vic was on maternity leave, they shared most things and alternated getting up with her. He knew that when Vic went back to work, it would be the two of them.

Walt carried her into the bedroom and sat down on the bed. The first rays of sunlight were just beginning to crack through the windows of the cabin. Vic lay stretched out on her back with her eyes closed. He knew she was awake. He leaned back against the headboard and tucked his legs under the covers. Vic rolled onto her side and opened her eyes. A soft smile played across her face as Walt easily slid the baby into her arms. He watched as she set about nursing their daughter and something inside of him soared. If there was anything he loved watching more than his youngest daughter, it was watching her with her mother.

For all the impatience and frustration he sometimes associated with her, Vic had taken to motherhood as naturally as anything he had seen before. The sheer reverence with which she looked at their daughter never ceased to melt his insides. Grunting and sighs met his ears as their daughter went about the business of breakfast. Vic used her free hand to brush her hair out of her face and readjust her position to one more comfortable. She was watching him curiously.

"What are you thinking about with that goofy grin?"

He reached out and ran his palm over the downy head of his daughter.

"Thinking about how lucky I am. How many men get a chance to do things over and make things right?"

She smiled at him, her eyes almost gold in the morning light and he knew he was where he belonged.

End


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